I Say Speech Team, You Say WHAT!
by Tabloid
Summary: The NVHS speech team deals with a lot- being called geeks(mainly by themselves), ingored(the school doesn't even care), people not knowing what in the world a speech team is. But when prices are induced, can the underdog come up top? [CASTING CALL]
1. Necessary Speech Info

Alrighty, Seraph pointed out to me that people need to know what the events are! So, here's some info. Hope it's understandable.  
  
Events:  
  
HI: Humorous Interpretation: In HI you act out a humorous script, with more than one character, all by yourself. You perform it, shifting your position so that it looks like your talking to whoever you just were. Moving between the character's is called popping.  
  
DI: Dramatic Interpretation: In the Two Towers, Gollum does a perfect DI. It's the same as HI except everyone's suicidal or has cancer or has been raped or is in love with him but he doesn't love her he loves him or is gay and comes out to his/her parents and they all have to learn to cope. Outsiders to DI, like room keepers in conference or regional tournaments, leave incredible pissed off at the word or incredibly depressed (the ones who do DI and the Judges are used to it). It's like a soap opera in there, but it's really cool at the same time. It can also be weird. Chelsea one raped herself during a DI. Very very very strange.  
  
DDA: Dramatic Duet Acting: The duets are the only ones in which you can move. It's a dramatic one scene skit for two people.  
  
HDA: Humorous Duet Acting: A humorous one scene skit for two people. People who do really well at either of the duos are generally placed in HI or DI the next year.  
  
Prose: The only event in which you don't have to memorize it. You read your selection right out of the book, only most people pretend to read and just have it memorized because it's easier to act it out. Yes, act it out- you need to portray the emotions, the voices, the characters and the situation without moving. And you're holding the book. It's a very fun event, I did it last year.  
  
OC: Original Comedy: Everyone's favorite event. People skip watching finals for their own events to see the finals for OC. People in OC write their own comedic scripts, usually with a narrator, and they act out each of the characters. My friend Matt did one last year about a dysfunctional college news station, a friend Sade put the Parker Brother's on trial with Hang Man and Mr. Pennybags as the lawyers, the monkeys from Barrel of Mokeys as the jurors and Mr. Mustard, the lone surviving hippo from Hungry Hungry Hippos, and a major of a Battleship as witnesses to the Parker Brother's abuses. And Queen Latifah was the judge.  
  
Verse: It's the same as Prose, but with poetry. And you don't have to act it out as much, just get very emotional- the judges like that.  
  
SOS: Special Occasion Speaking: You write a speech on a subject (my friend did Title IX last year; one of my counselors did it on the over abundance of self esteem- very interesting, hehe) and you have to make it humorous.  
  
Radio Speaking: If you're in radio, you're given a packet of news reports, usually about a half and hour long. You have to it down to five minutes, keeping all the important info, and then present it over a radio to a judge. You've got a half hour to cut it down.  
  
Extemp: You spend all your practices all year collecting research information on each of the 8 subjects you're given. Then, at the tournament, you find out which you need to do, and you have 45 minutes to write a speech (with sources) and you have to memorize it. You can use a note card, but the best don't and they get the high scores. The extempers are the smartest ones, and most others are in awe of them. And they think they're geeks, but shhhh.  
  
Impromptu: You're in the room, given a topic, and you have to go up and give a speech about it after, it think 15 seconds of thinking it over.  
  
Oratory: These people write a speech about a subject (like what being a patriot means or child abuse or lack of powerful women in the US whatever you can research) then they memorize the speech and present it every time. The speech is basically like an essay or one you'd do in class.  
  
Dec: Declamatory: Dec is the most interesting of the actual speeches. You find a speech someone used (like, towards a group of students, or to a support group or something) and you present it as if you are the person. Some are really really cool. One a girl did last year was about stress and began with the speaker talking about an experience when she was in High School where she was at a relative's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese's doing her calculus homework, and Chuck E. wanted her to come join the fun and for a second she wants to, but then she tried to go back to her homework and Chuck E. slugs her and she turns around and slugs him. 


	2. Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't won Newsies, the IHSA, the Neuqua Valley Speech Team or Neuqua Valley High School OR David Scheidecker.  
  
"Dear Student:  
  
Starting the 2003-2004 school year, the speech team will have a fee of $25 dollars. Also, the IHSA has declared it mandatory to go to the NIU Speech Camp July 6-11. The Speech camp costs $450.  
  
I realize that last year the speech team had no price on it, and now its's a whopping $475 dollars, but there is nothing I can do about it.  
  
And now, to add more misery to you (which I apologize for), due to increasing interests, the Speech Team is holding try-outs fo rthe few select spots available.  
  
Sincerely:  
  
David Scheidecker NVHS Speech Team"  
  
Across the town of Naperville, the jaws of students belonging to the NVHS speech team dropped.  
  
$475 dollars.  
  
But there was nothing they could do.  
  
There were only kids, you know.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I am bad, bad bad Tab.  
  
I have started another story.  
  
But it's all my writer's block's leaking out (er..just no more Dead Souls for a little bt...stupid muses, wherever you are!) So i was telling Lutells about this and she said give it a try. *points finger* blame her.  
  
Nah, just kidding. Blame me.  
  
I'm gonna take a fair amount of characters for this, so e-mail me at wither Fea Uf Este@aol.com (preferably) or ARTsyGrlFRotW@aol.com, and I'll send you info about speech team and speech camp and all I'm looking for, you know, the goods.  
  
My little teaser sucks...  
  
Anyway, I'm off to write a chapter of Blinkenstein *giggles like a maniac at that name*  
  
Shish-kabobs and chocolate covered Newsies Tabloid 


	3. Chapter 1: Welcome to NIU

Disclaimer: I don't own Newsies, NIU, any of the coaches (they're real people, I told them my idea and, in Yeager's own words "That's cool, just don't tell people I'm fat and ugly.")   
  
------  
  
Michelle "Raven" Beaufont and Kaleigh "Smalltalk" Connors dragged their suitcases up the flight of stairs and into the lobby of NIU's Warren South Tower.  
  
Smalltalk let go of her roll-along suitcase and it fell to the floor. She fell along with it, and laid on the ground. "Bury me right here Rave- I'm a goner."  
  
Raven rolled her eyes and bulled the slightly taller Smalltalk to her feet. "You're the laziest kid I know." Raven chided her younger friend.  
  
"I know." The blonde sighed- her hair today adorned with lime-green streaks. "That's why I'm in Speech."  
  
"If Shy heard you say that, then we'd really have to bury you." Raven commented.  
  
"That's why, if anyone asks, I didn't say anything." Smalltalk responded.  
  
"What's the likelihood of that?" Raven asked as her friend picked up her suitcase and dragged it over to the table. "Hey, Yeager."  
  
Brian Yeager groaned jokingly. 'Smalltalk Connors. Great. I though I'd finally rigged it so that you wouldn't get accepted."  
  
"You can't get rid of me that easily, Yeager-man."Â Smalltalk grinned as she took her packet from the counselor.   
  
When Raven had gotten her papers, they turned.  
  
"I gotta ask Judy about that suite she promised me last year." Smalltalk murmured as she scanned the room for the petite blonde woman who ran the camp.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Heeeelloooo. Earth to Broadway." The tall, brown haired girl snapped to attention.  
  
"Ohâ€¦hey, Jack."  
  
Jack Kelly shoved his hands into his pockets. "So, you're a captain, too."  
  
Broadway nodded as she scanned the room assignments for her name. "Congrats, Jack."  
  
"You too." Jack looked over her shoulder at the sheet she held in her hands for his and his roommate's name.  
  
"Do you know who the other two are, yet?" he asked.  
  
"Nope." Broadway answered. "What are you here for, Jack?"  
  
"DDA. You?"  
  
"Most likely HDA, but I haven't decided yet."  
  
Jack raised an eyebrow. "Well, you'd better decide soon."  
  
Broadway shrugged. "I just have to talk to Judy about it. She'd understand."  
  
"Of course she'd understand. Adults love you. You're perfect." He groaned, slightly disgusted by the last word.  
  
"Thanks." She responded, swinging her duffelbag over her shoulder and picking up her pillow. "I try to be."  
  
Jack rolled his eyes as she walked away.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Hey, Fratello!" Anthony "Mob" Assaro called to his friend Frankie "Racetrack" Higgins. As Race came over, Mob's younger brother Itey snuck off to talk to his own friends.  
  
"What the verdict on the roommate front, Race?"  
  
"You 'n Shad, me and Mr. Tabloid 'It's not Blues, it's Ozzy's new song' Guarrani."  
  
"I heard that." Tabloid drawled, walking up to them.  
  
"How long have you guys been here?" Mob asked.  
  
"I just got here." Race shrugged. "Just had enough time to check the room assignments before you got here."  
  
"Since six." Tabloid answered, checking his watch after moving his milliad of bracelets out of the way. "About two hours."  
  
"Damn." Mob let out a low whistle. "Bored much?"  
  
"Yeah." The punk admitted. "But it's worth it."- he shot a grin at Racetrack. "My bed doesn't sag in the middle."  
  
"It's probably the only one on this entire campus that doesn't." Mob muttered as Racetrack protested loudly.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Rainman! Long time no see, Dude!" Danny "Snitch" Riccio called out. Kyle Rains turned and grinned, holding the elevator open for Snitch to join him.  
  
"What's with you Neuqua kids and your nicknames?" Rainman asked, as he did every year.  
  
Snitch shrugged, then grinned. "Not all of you were given nicknames."  
  
"The only one that wasn't is Chelsea, and that's only because she threatened to castrate Skittery when he tried to give her one."  
  
"True." Snitch answered, laughing, as he turned his key so that the elevator would take them to the 5th floor.  
  
"Who's your roommate" Rainman asked as the elevator opened and they walked out.  
  
"Skittery. Yours?"  
  
"Igor."  
  
Snitch grimaced, feeling the other boy's pain. "Well," he said pityingly, "have fun, kid."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Pie Eater" Jones and Kevin "Swifty" Li groaned as they pulled their bags into the tiny dorm room.  
  
"It seems like every year the dorms get smaller, and I swear I don't grow that fast." Swifty muttered as he threw his duffel bag on a bed- who's center promptly sank to the ground. Swifty and Pie Eater exchanged a brief 'look'.  
  
"Where are we plugging in the mini-fridge?" Pie asked as he began to pull chips, candy and packets of Easy Mac out of his smaller duffel bag out of his smaller duffel bag.  
  
"Your side." Swifty answered.  
  
Pie grabbed the extension cord by the ancient mini-fridge and the microwave and plugged it into the outlet above his bed. As the fridge hummed to life he piled in pudding cups, a variety of soda, water bottles and other various food items.  
  
"We gotta sneak some ice cream up here after breakfast tomorrow." Pie commented as he shut the mini-fridge.  
  
"Don't we always?" Swifty asked, turning to look at his roommate. He sighed as he saw that Pie already had half a Twinkie shoved in his mouth. "'Hope Smalltalk brought that giant purse of hers again- we were set with ice cream the entire camp after just one tripâ€¦call her and ask."  
  
Pie Eater swallowed, then reached for the telephone.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Melissa "Mani" Thui and Lute "Swinger" McDonaghey were busy unpacking their clothes into their dressers when a loud knock caused their door to shake.  
  
Swinger pulled open the door to reveal Smalltalk, Raven and Angelica "Vintage" Monahan.   
  
"Dudes, come on, let's go!" Smalltalk shouted. Raven grimaced and rubbed her ear. "Orientation starts in less than five minutes.  
  
Mani quickly slammed her drawer shut. "Crap, let's go!"  
  
"Stupid Freshman." Raven shook her head at her younger friend, still favoring her right ear.   
  
"I'm a sophomore now." Smalltalk corrected. "It means I'm better than I was-"  
  
"Six weeks ago?" Swinger teased.  
  
Smalltalk rolled her eyes. "By the way, Swinger." Smalltalk said, quickly changing the subject. "You're shirt's justâ€¦awesome."  
  
"Thanks, yours too." Swinger grinned, her shirt reading "I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is." While Smalltalk's read "Carton of Eggs: $2. Hockey Mask: $15. Front Row tickets to a Britney Spears concert: $102. Egging the crap outta America's favorite Pop Princess: Priceless."  
  
"What does Snitch think about it?" Raven asked Swinger, grinning wildly.  
  
Before Swinger could respond, the elevator door opened, and all the cheerleaders inside, dressed up in their uniforms, crowded to the front.   
  
"Sorry." One of them smirked. "We're all full."  
  
"Wouldn't want to get on there anyway." Mani glared. "It smells a bit ripe in there."  
  
The cheerleader opened her mouth to respond, but the doors closed once more.  
  
They stood glaring at the door for a moment.  
  
"I hate cheerleaders." Smalltalk growled.  
  
"We're gonna be late." Raven groaned. "And Judy's gonna beat the hell outta us."  
  
"Then Broadway'll finish us off." Swinger added.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Swinger, Mani, Smalltalk, Raven and Vintage rushed into the rec room just as Swan- Judy's husband- was about to close the door. Once they were inside, they came face to face with Judy Santacaterina's infamous 'Look". "I'm glad you finally decided to join us, girls." Judy said disappointedly.  
  
"We wouldn't miss this for the world, Judy." Mani joked, grinning wildly.  
  
"Sit down." Judy said, a hint of a smile at the corner of her mouth.  
  
They rushed over to the side of the room that the Neuqua students were gathered on. Smalltalk noticed Cassandra "Jackal" Turner flirting with Tabloid and Mob as her boyfriend Jake and Tabloid's kinda-girlfriend, Sparrow looked on jealously. She gulped as Judy sent another look her direction, and sat on the floor between her boyfriend Pie Eater and Ashleigh "Mayfly" Bennet. Pie Eater spoke to her out of the corner of his mouth.   
  
"Why are you late?"  
  
"Evil cheerleaders." She rolled her eyes, then smiled as he took her hand.  
  
"Alright, alright kids! Listen up!" Judy yelled, in a voice that was surprisingly large compared to her body. "There's more of you than normal, most likely because Shy told me it was now mandatory for all the Neuqua students to come, so I made more room."  
  
"India had to quit." The Neuqua students heard Grace "Phoenix" Durnin whisper sadly to her boyfriend Itey. "Her family didn't have enough money to send her."  
  
"We start out each year explaining our rules, so you come to know what is expected of you as campers." Judy said, raising her voice over Phoenix's, who grew red and fell silent. "First of all, this is a scholastic camp. You will work hard every day to prepare yourself for the school year. You have a little time for yourself and to hang out with friend during the day- practices are not social time." The interpers- HI, DI, DDA and HDA- grinned. Their practices consisted of about 20 minutes of practicing, and 3 hours and 10 minutes of social time.  
  
"Consequently, there is to be no fraternizing with the other campers- Cheerleading, Wrestling and Dancing." Raven and Jackal's faces fell. They were dancers and were looking forward to talking with the people on the dance teams. Casey "Shad" Ehrler leaned forward to explain to them that these dancers were just as bitchy as the cheerleaders.  
  
Greg Soloman- a counselor- laughed. "Girls, there's no hitting on the wrestlers."  
  
A grin broke out on Judy's face, and she explained. "A couple years ago, we had this girl who decided it was a good idea to give her room key to this guy she met from Wrestling Camp. She was stuck outside her room until we found the guy."  
  
"Needless to say." Solomon cut in. "We now refer to her as "Skanky Girl"-" the campers laughed. "Ladies, you don't want to go down in history as "Skanky Girl 2"."  
  
"And guys, you don't want to be "Skanky Boy"." Swan added.  
  
Tabloid's face lit up, and the people around him began to worry.  
  
"So there's no talking to the other campers. We don't speak to them and we avoid them. We don't like them, they're a no-no." Judy continued.  
  
Solomon began to laugh again, and pointed across the room where the moving wall was nearly halfway open. "Shhh, Judy, they're on the other side of the room." He whispered loudly, then shouted. "We don't hate you! We love you guys!" he paused, then shouted again. "Marry us!"  
  
The Speechies laughed again.  
  
"You have to be on your floors at ten o'clock. And I don't want you all complaining like last year. You are expected to work hard all day long, and obey your counselors. And not to act stupid." Judy took a breath, then went on. "If you are found with drugs, exhibit violent behavior or anything of that sort, then you will call your parents, tell them to pick you up, then pack your bags because you are leaving."  
  
She walked to the other side, then stopped. "And if you don't like the way this camp is run, if you think your worked too hard, if you don't like our approach to Speech and the way we teach it, if you HATE me and hate the other counselors-" she stopped, leaving the new-comers thinking that she was going to tell them to tough it out- "Then too bad for you. If you don't like it, start your own camp."  
  
Several of the return campers broke into applause. Snoddy Bobbit, Broadway's boyfriend, leapt to his feet. "You go, Judy!" he exclaimed as several kids pulled him back down, laughing.  
  
"Thank you, Snoddy." Judy laughed. "And now, it's time-"  
  
Several people groaned as Judy ignored them. "You are going to pair up with someone you don't know, and introduce yourself."  
  
The Speechies groaned and muttered things under their breath as they searched for someone they didn't know or, at the least, someone Judy didn't think they knew.  
  
Ten minutes later, Judy called them back to attention.  
  
"Now, you all are going to introduce your partners, so that we'll all know each other-"  
  
"And be one, big happy family!" Racetrack added in with false cheerfulness.  
  
Judy rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Exactly. We'll start over there." She said, pointing to the end of the room."  
  
"Hey, this is Hatter Morin." A short, tough looking guy said, jabbing his thumb towards the larger guy sitting next to him. "He's gonna be a senior, and is in DDA. His partner's Raven-" at this, the dark-haired girl let out a whoop. Hatter whooped in return. "He's datin' Kitty Watersâ€¦uhâ€¦and he's into Drama. He got his nickname from when he was in Alice in Wonderland, 'cause he just fit his role as the Mad Hatter so well."  
  
Hatter rolled his eyes. "This is Spot Conlon. He's the DDA captain for Neuqua and is DDA partners with Jack Kelly. Umâ€¦he likes sitting around and looking tough-"  
  
"Don't make me hurt you, Hatter."  
  
"See?" Hatter added. "Andâ€¦uhâ€¦he's a guy." The Speechies snickered.  
  
"Thanks, Hatter. We feel enlightened." Judy grinned, then motioned for the next person to continue. When they had gone all the way around the room, Judy named all seventy campers (including Benazhir from Neuqua- try saying that 10 times fast).  
  
""You just memorized it!" Sean "Blank" Wu, Neuqua's prize extemper, shouted.   
  
"Fine." Judy said, a large grin on her face. "Mix up, children."  
  
The Speechies scattered around the room. After they took their seats, Judy went though naming everyone again. The applause was even louder.  
  
"Excuse me?" One of the dance coaches stuck her head in the door. "Can you keep it down in here? We're trying to have an important meeting in here."  
  
"Of course. I apologize." Judy said politely. As soon as the coach's back was turned, though, she made a face. The kids bit back their laughter, and as soon as she was gone, they burst out laughing again.  
  
"Shh, shh." Judy said, waving her arms. "Shush, we don't want to get yelled at again." The room slowly fell silent.  
  
"Now, on with business. In a couple minutes, you're going to meet with your counselors and give them your name and event, then you'll have a little group meeting. After that, it's time to go back to the floors. DI, HI, HDA, DDA, you guys are over by the glass doors. SOS, OC your up by the TV. Prose, Verse and Dec, you're over by the couches. As you all know, we don't do Extemp, Impromptu or Radio here, so you guys can join a group for the camp. And, PLEASE, don't all go to OC. Thank you."   
  
"Big Mafia game in our room after the meetings!" Pie Eater yelled as everyone went to join his or her group.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"I'm narrator!" Hatter yelled as he rushed into Pie and Swifty's room.  
  
"You're narrator?" Pie protested. "It's my room!"  
  
"I'm bigger than you are." Hatter explained.  
  
"No, you're not!"  
  
"Well, I'm older."  
  
Pie Eater shrugged. "Alright, then-"  
  
"I'm narrator second round!" Swinger exclaimed. Pie shot a glare at her.  
  
"I'm narrator third round!" Jackal cut in, dragging Jake into the room.  
  
Pie looked at her. "I'm bigger than you."  
  
"Yeah." Jackal agreed, getting into his face. "But I'm meaner." She growled threateningly.  
  
"Alright, you're narrator third round." Pie Eater squeaked. "I'm narrator fourth, though."  
  
Jackal shrugged. "Fine by me."  
Swinger and Mani filed in along with Shad and Skam. Skam took a seat, and when his boyfriend, David Jacobs, sat down beside him, he put his arm around his shoulders. Couples sat together- Raven and Jack, Brian "Dum" Kostevewa and Charlotte "Omelet" Downes, Snitch and Swinger, Broadway and Snoddy, Mayfly and the one-eyed Louis "Kid Blink" Ballet. Others, such as Jose "Bumlets" Fernandez, Rainman, Igor, Racetrack, Thunder, Swifty, Mob and Shad sat down with friends.  
  
Hatter walked around, handing out cards. "Alright. Clubs are Mafia, heart is the doctor, diamond is the sheriff and- Jackal, do you mind getting you tongue out of Jake's mouth long enough to take a card?"  
  
The dark-clothed girl pulled away from her boyfriend and pulled a card out of the pile, glaring at Hatter all the while.  
  
"Anyway, spades are townsfolk. All right, town go to sleep." Everyone closed their eyes and bowed their heads.  
  
"Mafia, wake up." Skam and Smalltalk looked up. Skam carefully pointed to Pie Eater and Smalltalk nodded, as did Hatter.  
  
"Mafia, go to sleep. Doctor wake up." This time Swinger raised her head and looked around, then pointed to Pie Eater. Hatter nodded again.  
  
"Doctor go to sleep. Sheriff, wake up." Mayfly raised her head slowly, careful not to disturb Blink, who apparently didn't know the meaning of the words 'personal space'.  
  
Mayfly pointed to Dum, and Hatter shook his head. "Alrighty, my peeps. My homies. My dawgs-"  
  
"Shut up, Hatter." Half the room snapped.  
  
Hatter shrugged. "Alrighty, you can all wake up."  
  
Everyone raised their heads and looked around the room.  
  
"In the middle of the night-" Hatter started in a Mr. Moviephone voice. "Several townspeople were awakened by high-pitched screams coming from the railroad. They ruches outside and found Pie Eater-" Pie rolled his eyes as everyone laughed. "Tied to the railroad tracks. Luckily the Doctor was amongst them and was able to cut Pie loose before the circus train came through town."  
  
Smalltalk pouted, and wrapped her arms around Pie Eater. "Who would try to kill my boyfriend? That's just mean."  
  
Pie Eater looked down at her. "It was you, wasn't it?"  
  
"What?!" Smalltalk exclaimed. "No! Why would I do that?!"  
  
"Whoever thinks Smalltalk was part of the Mafia, raise your hand." Everyone's hand but Jackal's flew into the air.  
  
"Well, Jackal, it's nice to know that YOU trust me."  
  
"Of course I doâ€¦ I think." Jackal said.   
  
Smalltalk pouted. "I just want you all to know that I love you too."  
  
"Alright, by popular vote, Smalltalk is now dangling from the old oak tree." Hatter said cheerfully.  
  
"Let's throw a party!" Tabloid called from the hallway. Smalltalk threw her sandal out the door.  
  
"Quiet, boy, you're not playing!" She called. Tabloid grinned, picked up her shoe, and took off down the hall.  
  
"Hey!" Smalltalk looked around the room. "I'll be right back." And she took off after him, jumping over Kyle "Thunder" Pruitt on her way out.  
  
"Alright." Hatter continued. "Town, go to sleep."  
  
Next out was Dum, then Omelet right after which put to rest Dum's accusations of her. After Omelet was Rainman, Jake, then Igor, then Swinger, then Raven then Jack. The townspeople picked off Snitch, Bumlets, Blink, Snoddy, Race, Thunder, Mayfly and Mob.  
  
"It's because I'm Italian, isn't it?" Mob protested as the remaining players voted against him.  
  
"No." Thunder grinned. "It's because you're white."  
  
All the Speechies who were there last year got the joke and laughed. Hatter grinned, then explained to the newcomers.   
  
"Last year, Thunder was doing a DDA with this Rainman. Thunder was this guy mugging him, and Rainman forgot his line. He stood their for, like, five minutes until Rainman yelled out 'It's because I'm WHITE, isn't it?' and burst into fake tears."  
  
The newcomers laughed along with the experienced campers.   
  
"I'm back." Smalltalk said, panting at the door. "Tab ran downstairs, the idiot, and I had to chase him around the whole first floor." She sighed, then brightened. "And although you guys killed me, I brought you ice cream."  
  
Pie Eater leapt to his feet, ran over and dug into her purse, which was full of cups of ice cream. Smalltalk raised an eyebrow.  
  
"I get the feeling you only hang around me for the food." She said. Pie grinned, kissed her cheek, and pulled out a Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream.  
  
"It isn't pie." He sighed. "But it'll do."  
  
Smalltalk grabbed a raspberry sherbet and then passed her purse around the room. Soon everyone was snacking on ice cream.  
  
"So?" Smalltalk asked. "Did we start a new game or what?"  
  
  
"Nope. Shad's still in, Jackal's still in. Skam's still in, so's Swifty. Mani's still in and Broadway's still in." Hatter said as he polished off his chocolate ice cream.  
  
"Anymore ice cream?" Pie asked, grabbing the purse.   
  
"You guys can keep what's left. I'll get some more tomorrow morning." Smalltalk said.  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Yeah. Unlike you guys, the girls don't stay up half the night eating junk food."  
  
"At least, most of us don't." Omelet muttered sheepishly.  
  
Pie eater pulled out another ice cream and packed the rest into the freezer. "I'd be insulted if it weren't true."  
  
"Anyway, back to the game." Shad said. "I think it's Skam."  
  
"It's not time to accuse a person." Skam said, glaring at his brother.  
  
Shad shrugged. "I still think it's you."  
  
"You have no proof." Skam glared at his twin.  
  
"Yeah, wellâ€¦you have braces!" Shad accused him.  
  
"Well, you have braces!"  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
"YOU shut up!"  
  
"Boys!" Broadway interrupted. "Play nice." She said as they fumed, glaring at each other.  
  
Hatter laughed. "Town, go to sleep. Mafia, wake up."   
  
Skam woke up, then pointed at himself. Hatter nodded.  
  
"Doctor wake up." Hatter paused a moment, even thought the doctor was already dead. "Doctor go to sleep. Sheriff wake up. Sheriff go to sleep. Townâ€¦wake up."  
  
"In the dead of night, Skam stood on the roof of his large, three story mansion with tennis courts and hearted indoor/outdoor pool-complete with a sauna. Anyway, he leaned too far over the edge and toppled to his death. So ends our game."  
  
Shrieks and gaps came from the group. "You killed yourself!" Jackal exclaimed.  
  
"You can't do that!" Shad protested.  
  
"Alright!" Smalltalk, his fellow Mafia member, high-fived Skam. "Go Mafia!"  
  
"I was RIGHT!" Pie Eater exclaimed.  
  
"You doubted it?" Smalltalk asked, surprised.   
  
"Alright, I'm the next-"  
  
Jason, the youngest camp counselor, appeared in the doorway. "No, no one's next. It's time to go, ladies."  
  
The Speechies protested, but Jason just waved away their complaints. "You'd better get down there, or Judy's gonna skin you all alive."  
  
The girls quickly exited the room, and went to the elevators at the end of the hall.  
  
"Boys," Jason continued. "You might want to think about going to bed. You got to get up early tomorrow."  
  
"It's 10." Swifty said, staring at Jason as if he sprouted three heads. "Heyâ€¦you want to play Mafia?"  
  
"Sure!" Jason said, joining in the game and snacking on the food the campers brought.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
At 12, Omelet and Smalltalk stared up at their ceiling, where another crash came from.  
  
"Are they throwing furniture?" Omelet asked.  
  
"Dunno." Smalltalk groaned, turning over and covering her head with her pillow. "But I gotta stop getting rooms directly under Pie's."  
  
"BOYS!" Judy screamed outside their door. "GET THE HELL TO SLEEP!"  
  
The room above them feel silent, then erupted into laughter, which died out quickly.  
  
Judy tapped on their door. "Goodnight, ladies."  
  
"'Night, Judy." Smalltalk and Omelet chorused.Â   
  
-------  
  
Alrighty, I think Speech camp's gonna last about three chapters, cause this stinker's already 13 pages long. I'll be taking characters until the third chapter, so e-mail me at Fea Uf Este@aol.com, and I'll send you info ^_^.  
  
*sigh I miss Speech camp. 'Cept the dancers and the cheerleaders. They were REALLY as mean as they seem. No kidding.  
  
Well, its 3:30 AM as I finish this so I'm saving it and going to bed.  
  
G'night, all.  
  
Oh, and I love Lute for putting this up for me! *loves Lute* 


	4. Chapter 2: Down the Hooooole

Disclaimer: I don't own Newsies, NIU Speech Camp (I'm wearing my T-shirt right now.O.o eerie) or anything that isn't mine. Thank you, and have a great day!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Tabloid quickly dialed a number, and grinned as someone answered sleepily. "Hello, this is Isaac "Tabloid" Guarrani with your fun 5:30 AM wake up call and to invite you all to join us for an early breakfast at-"  
  
"EARLY?! BURN IN HELL, TABLOID!!" He held the phone away from his ear, and exchanged a look with Racetrack, who was awake and laughing on his bed.  
  
He shrugged as he hung up his phone. "I think she likes me. Who's next?"  
  
"Mayfly and Vintage." Racetrack said, reading off the paper with all the roommates on it.  
  
"Hello, this is Isaac "Tabloid" Guarrani with your fun 5:32 AM wake up call and to invite you all to join us-"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
An hour and a half later, Tabloid, Racetrack, Mob and Shad walked up to a table where a bunch of girls sat, eyes half open and propping their heads up with their arms.  
  
"What's the matter, girls? Tired?" Race asked sadly.  
  
His girlfriend Dare turned to glare at him. "I like my sleep."  
  
He nodded. "Uh-huh."  
  
"We don't like it when it's taken away from us." Smalltalk growled into her Lucky Charms. She wasn't a morning person to begin with. "I was going to wake up at seven." She moaned.  
  
They were interrupted as Cassandra "Elektra" Graham stormed up to them. "You." She growled, sticking her finger in Tabloid's face. "I'm gonna get you back, and I'm gonna make you cry."  
  
Her attention swerved to Mob, and she pasted a flirty smile on her face. "Oh. Hi, Mob." She cooed.  
  
"Stupid freshman." Tabloid rolled his eyes. "Well, I'm out. See y'all later." He walked off with Mob, who was happy to get away from Elektra, and she stared them both down.  
  
"Does, like, anyone say 'I'm out' anymore?" the freshman sniffed, throwing her bouncy brown hair over her shoulders, her blue eyes aflame.  
  
"Well, Tab just did, so obviously the answers 'yes'." Raven said, staring the other girl down.  
  
Elektra just stuck her nose in the air and stalked away.  
  
"Yeah, that's right little girl. Go listen to Britney Spears like a nice, preppy kid." Jackal growled.  
  
"AH! You said it!" Mani said, clutching at her heart. She proceeded to keel over and pretend to drop dead off her chair.  
  
"I'd react the same way." Smalltalk droned, leveling her hazel eyes at Jackal. "I'm just too damned tired."  
  
"Hey, kids?" They all looked up as Stephanie- one of the Prose/Verse counselors came over to the table. "When you're done eating, you need to go through the tunnels back to North. The tornado sirens are going off."  
  
The group shrugged. "Okay." Stephanie nodded, then went to another table full of Speechies.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"How much would you give me?" Brian 'Lance' Raymond asked his DeKalb teammate Chelsea Thompson.  
  
"A bag of M&Ms and five Swedish fish."  
  
Brian grinned and held out his hand, and Chelsea shook to seal the deal. Then Brian walked over to a table full of wrestlers to show how he earned his nickname. He slid into a seat next to a rather large camper.  
  
"Hello." He said in a sexy voice, holding out his hand. "I'm Brian, but my boyfriends like to call me Lance." The wrestler paled.  
  
"I was sitting over with my friends," he continued, scooting closer on the bench. "And I couldn't help but notice how.manly you looked."  
  
A squeal of mirth came from 'Birdie' Freeman, and the wrestler turned to glare at Brian. "Why you little."  
  
"Er, gotta go!" Brian exclaimed, kissing the wrestler on the cheek and taking off, racing out of the lunch room and down the hall.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kate Whiting walked up and sat down beside Broadway. "Hey, I hear you're a Team Captain, too."  
  
"You're the third?" Broadway asked, smiling. "Good, then all we need to do is find one more."  
  
"You Neuqua kids don't know who your captains are?" Tyler 'Dip' Graves asked, a scowl on his face.  
  
"Hush it, Dipshit." Skittery put in, using the unedited version of Dip's name. The poor kid got in a fight with Smalltalk last year. If he had picked an opponent that didn't talk as much, he might have been able to escape Speech camp without that nickname.  
  
"NANTS INGONYAMA BAGITHI BABA!"  
  
Skittery rolled his eyes and looked to the door. "Rafiki's back for another year." He sighed. Brett Harper- or Rafiki to the returning campers- had seen the Lion King on Broadway in Chicago right before coming to camp, which had him singing that one fateful line that got him named after a baboon.  
  
"Heya kids." He grinned, coming up to sit with them. "Miss me much?"  
  
"We always miss you." Lisa Rivers- a new camper, though a teammate of Rafiki's- sighed. "At least, we would if you were gone long enough."  
  
Rafiki laughed, tossing his head back. "Ah, come on, you all know you love me-" he trailed off when he caught sight of Judy. "Hey, Judy! C'mere!"  
  
Judy trotted over, clutching her notebooks with shaking hands. "You kids alright?"  
  
Broadway smiled calmly. "Yeah, we're fine, Judy. Never better."  
  
"You alright, Judy?" Dip asked, looking at her hands.  
  
Judy nodded, forcing a smile on her face. "Of course. Never better." She turned to leave, then turned back quickly. "And kids, be sure to go back through the tunnels. You got ten minutes before we leave."  
  
Judy walked off, and as soon as she was a good distance away, Lisa whacked her teammate upside the head.  
  
"Ow." He complained, pouting. "What was that for?"  
  
"You don't ask her if she's alright! She's freaked out and acting like she isn't! Is it that hard to see?" "I didn't see it." Dip put in.  
  
Lisa turned away from them. "Guys are such idiots." She said, disgusted.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Karone 'Sniffles' Hunter lay on one of four couches in the lobby, blocking out the chattering Speechies who were gathered around her in a last ditch attempt to gets some sleep. A cell phone rang, and she opened an eye to look around.  
  
Paul handed his cell phone to Judy, and after she took it, he stepped behind her. "Hello, Judy, it's the storm," He cackled in a horror-movie voice. "I'm not stopping for you.or for anyone."  
  
There was scattered laughter as Judy glared at him, and turned back to her own phone. Sniffles surveyed the weather outside the large windows- green sky, hail and winds bending the young trees over. She sighed and rolled over to go back to sleep.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"This sucks." Smalltalk grumbled, crossing her arms huffily.  
  
Hatter rolled his eyes. "You shouldn't have agreed to be the captain for Prose if you didn't want to do it."  
  
"I want to do Prose! Just not at camp."  
  
"This isn't for fun anymore, Smalltalk." Michael 'Spot' Conlon said from his seat on the couch across from Smalltalk. "This is training."  
  
"According to Shy, the school's pissed we've been 4th in state for the past several years." Broadway put in. "They want a trophy."  
  
"We have a 66 million dollar school!" Jackal complained. "They just gotta take some money from the sports and give it to us. Maybe then we'd do better! Or, if they want a trophy that bad, they can just BUY one!"  
  
"Some 66 million dollar school." Tabloid grumbled. "You guys ever had to wash your hands in a toilet cause you can't get those damned sinks to work?"  
  
"You might have to at NVHS." Mob added, laughing at the expressions on the kids from other schools.  
  
"Please tell me you haven't really washed your hands in a toilet, Tab." Itey said, eyebrows raised.  
  
Tabloid just shrugged. "Hey, we took samples of bacteria from all around the school in Freshman Bio class. The toilets were the cleanest things."  
  
"That's disgusting." Nathan 'Trib' Tribble, a Reed Custer student said, making a face.  
  
"You think that's disgusting, you should see what was growing in the nutrient agar that had the sample from the vending machines." Tabloid, Pie Eater, Shad, and Swinger all shuddered with the memory- they had been in the same class that year.  
  
"Neuqua's a fun school, ain't it?"  
  
"Hey." Smalltalk growled, leveling a finger at Nathan. "We may not have enough parking spaces, we may not have enough classrooms, but we have an absolutely world class gazebo."  
  
'Quit complaining, kids." Broadway said, walking by. "Our school's the best we've been to." They ignored her.  
  
"Did you hear about the Freshman Center?" Mani said. "They've finally realized that there's too many of us. Crone's now the freshman center." She said, naming the Middle School that was just off the high school grounds.  
  
"What about the middle schoolers?" Snitch asked.  
  
"They're going to 'Crone II'." Mani laughed. "The school system need to get creative."  
  
"Talking about creative, they've come up with new ways to torture the Drama and Speech students. Did you hear that since they built a Freshman Center, the Children's Theater's going to be there and only open to Freshmen?" Dare added bitterly.  
  
"You're shitting me!" Smalltalk exclaimed.  
  
"Connors! Language!" Dipal, the only real strict counselor barked from across the room.  
  
"Sorry." Smalltalk muttered, turning back. "Really?!"  
  
Dare nodded.  
  
"Crap, that annoys the flying bejezzus outta me." Smalltalk scowled. "Y'know, if they had done that last year, I wouldn't have been stuck as the Five of Spades."  
  
"You were one of three Freshmen! Quit complaining, Smalls." Jackal rolled her eyes.  
  
"Eight people stepped on me." Smalltalk moped. "You shoulda been there during practices. Tileston's evil! She'd always be 'Alright, let's start at the Queen of Heart's entrance' and I'd have to fall flat on my face and they'd step on me. 'Cept Monahan. He STOMPED on me."  
  
The others ignored her.  
  
"We're' doing Dracula." Dare said, tuning the conversation away. "And for the musical we're doing West Side Story."  
  
Smalltalk whooped. "West Side Story!"  
  
"How did I get the nickname 'Shaddup' when she's just as bad?" Shad asked, rolling his eyes as Smalltalk stuck her tongue out at him.  
  
"You're older. You were here first."  
  
"Ha! That's what you get for being born so early!" Smalltalk crowed.  
  
"Alright." Raven muttered. "No more Lucky Charms for Smalltalk in the morning."  
  
"But I like the marshmallows." Smalltalk protested.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Fifteen minutes later, they were still sitting in the lobby all silent and all bored to tears.  
  
Judy snapped her cell phone shut. "Alright, kids. We've got a bus on it's way."  
  
"Yay." Elektra muttered dryly.  
  
"Quiet, kid." Broadway snapped.  
  
Five minutes later, a NIU bus pulled up. "We're splitting up, and since we're so late, we're going straight to the classrooms and missing the morning meeting. Anyone with anything for Speech Scoops, please give them to me as you get on the bus. And, fyi, when you get to your classrooms, we're going to get our material. We've got books, script and things for you to use in the rooms. Get going on the bus, kids! Wait. hey!" she yelled running outside as a group of Cheerleaders climbed on the bus. The doors shut before she got there, though, and she turned around, furious.  
  
"Uh-oh." Swan muttered, and he ducked behind Yeager. "Hide me."  
  
Judy stormed in, flipped her cell phone open and called the bus again. After talking for a while, she shut the phone.  
  
'That was ours." Angry complaints came from the campers. Judy raised a hand to quiet them. "But they had sent one out for the cheerleaders, so it'll just be a minute or so."  
  
The bus did show up, and people climbed in- some campers standing in the aisle because of lack of space. The bus took off down the road, and the campers checked to make sure they had everything they'd need for finding and 'cutting' a piece.  
  
HI, DI, DDA, HDA:  
  
"Alright, kids." Swan said, passing out a thick packet labeled 'Oral Interpretation of Prose, Poetry, Drama'. "Read this, then you can look for a piece."  
  
"Swwwaaaannn. This is 15 pages long!"  
  
Swan shrugged, grinning. "That's why you have such long practices. Chop chop, little kids, get to work."  
  
Prose, Verse, Dec:  
  
"So apparently my Aunt's dog's rabid and now my cousins, mom, dad and grandpa have to go get vaccinated." Smalltalk finished, looking around the room.  
  
"Skittery." Adam 'Specs' Miller said dryly. "Don't you ever ask Smalltalk what's up again."  
  
"It was a greeting! I had no idea that it'd go into a complete account on her ENTIRE SUMMER VACATION!"  
  
"It wasn't a complete account, Skitts!" Smalltalk protested. "It was the edited version. Anyway, it's only been half a summer vacation so far, dude."  
  
"If only you'd have edited more out." Elektra commented. "I really didn't need to know some of that."  
  
Omelet grabbed Smalltalk's wrist before the other girl chucked a stapler at Elektra's head.  
  
"So, anyone else got any psycho animal stories?" Matt, also known as 'Big Matt' to the campers because of his recent acquire of muscles, asked.  
  
"I have an anorexic cat" Birdie commented, leaning back in her chair and flipping through a book of poetry.  
  
"Anorexic?" Mush asked the same time Skam exclaimed, "I KNOW! It's because all those cats on TV are so thin!"  
  
SOS, OC:  
  
"It smells pretty in here." Omar commented after unlocking the classroom door.  
  
"That smell was already here." Paul, his fellow counselor and friend for over ten years, said. "Quit hitting on me, Omar!"  
  
"Kids!" Judy popped her head in. 'Here's the first edition of Speech Scoops." She said, handing Swifty a pile camp newsletters.  
  
"Hey, guys, look at this!" Swifty said, pointing to the newsletter. The campers and counselors all grabbed a copy and read:  
  
Top Ten Reasons Why I Hate Weather by James P. Yeager  
  
10.) Al Roker: nuff said.  
  
9.) Despite valiant efforts, I can't convince others that water on my pants is really rain.  
  
8.) Head + Winds naturally shape Vanilla Ice hairdos.  
  
7.) There's more radical changed than in a DI.  
  
6.) If you rearrange the lteters you get 'Where at?".Spooky.  
  
5.) Hitler liked weather.  
  
4.) When it comes down to it, every cloud looks like a cottonball.  
  
3.) I'm allergic to rain.  
  
2.) Every war movie had a battle scene in the rain, and it shows dead people- you do the math.  
  
1.) Cause Judy says so.and if you don't like it.start your own camp.  
  
Tabloid blinked. "Man, Yeager's got a.strange sense of humor."  
  
"You're lucky." Solomon commented. "You only have to deal with that 5 days out of a year. Us, we're stuck with him forever."  
  
Jill 'Kitty' Waters laughed. 'That's your fault. Not ours."  
  
Solomon pouted. "I know.hey, any of you think you could sneak me out in your suitcase."  
  
Mob shrugged "You might want to ask one of the Prose or DDA girls. They have suitcase large enough to fit a body in."  
  
The group stared at him, and he shrugged again. "Not that I noticed or anything."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The Speechies slowly trudged out of the building, heading back to the North tower.  
  
"I've read.so many.stinkin' scripts.and I haven't found jack." Pie Eater complained and he jumped over the stairs, too lazy just to walk down them.  
  
Snitch walked around the stairs and down the grass. "That's why I'm in OO. I write my own stuff."  
  
"Boreatory!" Swinger crowed, one of the few around whose spirit hadn't been broken by three hours pouring over pieces.  
  
"I hate Oratory." David complained, following Snitch down the stairs.  
  
"You're in Impromptu! You got to choose what to do!" 'Kat' Gilmartin, a fellow member of Neuqua's Impromptu group, pointed out.  
  
David just shrugged.  
  
A group of Prose/Verse/Dec kids came running out of the building.  
  
"Pie!"  
  
"What?" Pie called back to Smalltalk, everyone around recognizing that voice because they heard it only every waking moment.  
  
"No! Not Pie, pie!"  
  
"Kid, you're making no sense." Snoddy said. "Calm down and speak in full sentences. Just.not too many of them."  
  
"They're serving French Silk Pie for lunch." Smalltalk rolled her eyes, then brightened. "And banana pudding!"  
  
"Where's you hear that?" Pie Eater asked, grinning.  
  
"Matt's one of my counselors." Smalltalk explained. "If there's any promise of food in the near future, Matt knows all."  
  
"Well, what are you guys waiting for?" Pie exclaimed. "Let's go!" And with that he took off towards the North Tower.  
  
"Jones! Slow down!" Dipal yelled.  
  
Pie Eater stopped. 'But it's piiiiieee."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"That's a waste of perfectly good pie." Pie Eater muttered twenty minutes later as they all sat around a table, watching a not-so-uncommon fight between Raven and Jack- who was now covered in said pie.  
  
"Kick him!" Smalltalk yelled as Raven threw a cup at her boyfriend. "Punch him! Smack him!"  
  
"Shut UP, Smalltalk!" They both yelled in unison, then turned back to each other.  
  
Smalltalk sat back, deflated. "Fine. You don't have to get all pissy."  
  
Pie Eater, wrapped an arm around her, and then his eyes grew huge as they focused on something behind Jack.  
  
"Hey. Guys. Look." They all turned to see a red-faced Judy storm across the lunch room towards Jack and Raven.  
  
"Crap, they're screwed." 'Swerve' Skinner muttered.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Stupid bastard got me in trouble." Raven complained as all the girls sat in the lobby.  
  
"You shouldn't have fought with him." Phoenix pointed out.  
  
"We always fight."  
  
"Well, that's no excuse, now is it." Broadway said angrily, pissed off that one of her co-captains and team members were throwing food in the cafeteria.  
  
Sniffles leaned on her elbows, looking down at the others from where she sat on the back of the couch. "Raven, to stop fighting with Jack, all you need to do is get inside his head."  
  
Swinger cracked up. "Yeah. There's plenty of room there!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Jack stormed into Geoff's room, where there was a PS2 set up, and where Tabloid and Skittery were busy playing Twisted Metal with a bunch of the other guys gathered around.  
  
"I have a plan." Jack declared.  
  
"If I had a penny for every time you said that." Race muttered.  
  
"You'd finally be able to afford that life you need." Jack finished.  
  
"Plan for what?" Bumlets asked, followed by a cheer as Tabloid blew up another car. Skittery glared at him.  
  
"That was my ear."  
  
"Oh. Sorry."  
  
"Will you guys listen to me?" Jack yelled.  
  
"No. We don't want to get involved in once of you cockamamie plans, Jack."  
  
"You sound like my grandmother, Snods." Tabloid said, his eyes still pinned to the screen.  
  
"Fuck you!"  
  
"No thanks. Ask Dave."  
  
"Hey!" Skam yelled from where he sat on the unused bed. "He's mine. Find your own bitch, Snoddy!"  
  
"Did you just call me your bitch?"  
  
"No. It was hypothetical."  
  
"How was THAT hypothetical?"  
  
"SHUT UP!" Jack screamed. The room fell silent as they all turned to him.  
  
"Don't you think that's overkill, dude?" Snitch asked.  
  
"No. Now listen. I have a plan."  
  
"Plan for what?" Swerve asked from where he was making out with Risk.  
  
"For getting back at the girls."  
  
"Why? What did they do?" Pie Eater asked.  
  
"They were making fun of me down there."  
  
Swifty rolled his eyes. "Jack. They ALWAYS make fun of you."  
  
"Raven started it."  
  
"We're not getting involved with your relationship problems, Jack." Spot said, crossing his arms.  
  
"Come on, guys, it'll be fun!"  
  
"Fuck that."  
  
"All I really need for this is Tab and Snitch." Jack pressed.  
  
"Glad to be loved, Jack."  
  
"Shove it, Spot."  
  
Tabloid sighed. "What are we going to do?"  
  
Jack explained his plan to them all.  
  
"You know that's incredibly childish, don't you?" Tabloid asked rolling his eyes. "Alright. I'm in."  
  
A couple others agreed, but Snitch was still silent.  
  
"Snitch? C'mon, you in?"  
  
Snitch glared at Jack.  
  
"Alright, he's in." Jack said as Snitch leapt to his feet, protesting. "We're doing the first part just before bowling, when the girls are downstairs. I'm out."  
  
Snitch glared at his retreating back "You-"  
  
But Jack had already slammed the door shut.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Fifteen minutes later, they were all gathered in a group in the lobby once more.  
  
"C'mon, Rainman! Do it!" Mani exclaimed.  
  
"Nooo."  
  
"C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! Come on or I won't shut up and leave you alone!" Smalltalk yelled.  
  
Rainman sighed, defeated, and stepped into an area where there was a little more space. "Alright." He started. "At my school, everyone makes fun of me 'cause I can't dance. So I created my own dance. Ladies and gentlemen- and Tabloid- I give you 'The White Boy'."  
  
The group cheered, laughing, and Rainman started to bust out a series of absolutely horrible dance moves, finishing soon afterwards with a futile attempt to spin on the carpeted floor. He stood up and bowed as everyone cheered.  
  
"Alright, alright, kids." Judy clapped her hands loudly to get everyone's attention. "We're going! It's time for lectures!"  
  
"What's today's lecture, Jude?" Hatter asked.  
  
"Non-verbal communication."  
  
"Fun." Tabloid muttered. "Sounds like nap time to me."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"The second practice is the worst." Blank said, coming out from said practice.  
  
"Nah." Mayfly shook her head. "The third one's the worst."  
  
"It's not that bad, guys." Broadway pointed out, walking alongside her HDA partner.  
  
"We've got the best HDA." Skittery said, punching his partner Snitch lightly in the arm. "The fucking best."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"We're not telling. 'Tis a secret."  
  
"Loser." Mayfly accused before leaning over and biting Skittery on the arm.  
  
Geoff stared at her, wide-eyed. 'Dude. She just bit you."  
  
Skittery sighed. "I know. She has a habit of doing that."  
  
"Can I bite you?"  
  
"What?!"  
  
"I'm gonna bite you, too."  
  
Skittery dodged out of his way. "Dude. Stay away from me."  
  
Geoff came at him again and he ran a couple step ahead. "What the hell's wrong with you?!"  
  
"He's an OC kid." Broadway explained. "Please let me bite you?" Geoff begged.  
  
"No!"  
  
"Please?"  
  
"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Skittery yelled as Mayfly laughed hysterically.  
  
"C'mon, man, you know you want it."  
  
"SCREW YOU!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"What are we doing, Jack?" Spot asked as they rode the elevator up for the fifth time.  
  
"We're waiting for the elevator to open on the fourth floor."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"So that we can GET on the girls floor!"  
  
"Why don't we just ask a girl to bring us there?"  
  
"Because, Snoddy, then they'd know we were there."  
  
"Won't they realize we were there once they find their stuff missing?" Snitch asked, then added. "Duh."  
  
"Shaddup, Snitch."  
  
The elevator went to the bottom again, and this time Stephanie, a new Speechie , and Rainman got on.  
  
"Hey." Jack said, pretending like they weren't up to anything.  
  
"What are you doing?" Stephanie asked. Tabloid burst into laughter.  
  
"Real nice, Tab." Jack said, glaring at him.  
  
"You're pathetic, Jack." Tabloid whooped, then straightened up. "Hey, Steph, you think you could let us off at the fourth floor?"  
  
"Why?" she asked warily.  
  
Tabloid shrugged. "Jack feels bad for being such a bitch to Raven. He wants to apologize to her, but she won't talk to him. He figures that if he corners her in her room, he might have a chance."  
  
"Why are the rest of you here?"  
  
"Moral support." Tabloid said simply.  
  
"Alright. I will." Stephanie said, still unconvinced but turning her key to bring them to the fourth floor.  
  
The guys got out, thanked Stephanie, and took off down the hallway, looking for Raven and Jackal's rooms.  
  
"Which one is it?" Jack asked, walking up and down the hallway.  
  
"Maybe the one that says 'Michelle' on it?" Snitch pointed out gloomily.  
  
Jack laughed, embarrassed. "Oh. Right."  
  
The slowly opened the door, and were relieved to see that no one was inside. "Go on!" Jack said, shoving Snitch into the room. The other boy glared at him, grabbed several small objects (a necklace, a watch and a five dollar bill) off the desk.  
  
"Happy?" Snitch grumbled as he walked out of the room.  
  
"Very." Jack replied. "Now for Smalltalk and Omelet."  
  
"What did they do?" Pie exclaimed.  
  
"They made fun of me, Pie Eater!"  
  
"You need to grow up, Kelly." He grumbled, and walked off. Snitch went to follow him, but Jack held him back.  
  
"No."  
  
They repeated the process in Smalltalk's room and in Swingers room, then ran to the elevator and went to their floor, then into the bathroom.  
  
Jack pushed the handicap stall open, and he, Tabloid, Spot, Skittery, Snitch and Snoddy squeezed in.  
  
Jack tossed a ring onto the toilet and flushed. "Ring go down the hooooole." He laughed.  
  
The others stared at him.  
  
"You know.Tiny Toon Adventures? Plucky Duck? Paper go down the hooooole.NEVERMIND!" He tossed in the money and some of Omelet's makeup, and flushed again.  
  
"I feel five." Tabloid commented as he watched the objects go down the toilet.  
  
"Hurry up, Jack! You're taking too long!" Spot yelled at him.  
  
"Fine! Fine! Give me everything!" Jack said, snatching the rest of their bounty from the other boys' hands and tossed it in the toilet, then flushed.  
  
The water stared to swirl then- it stopped.  
  
The water level rose.  
  
"Jack. Jack, it's clogged." Skitter started, backing up to the door.  
  
Jack swore and flushed it again. The water level rose higher.  
  
"What are you doing?!" Snoddy exclaimed. "That doesn't help!"  
  
The water began to overflow, and the guys all leapt backwards.  
  
"Er." Jack said, staring at the steadily growing pool of water on the floor. "Um. Let's go."  
  
They took off out the door, and down the stairs to meet everyone for bowling.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Smalltalk cheered as the bowling ball knocked down a pin. "Yes! Doubled my score!"  
  
"And that's pathetic 'cause this is the eighth frame."  
  
"You're bringing me down, Raven!" Smalltalk called as she continued to dance in the aisle.  
  
Jack's group, on the other hand, wasn't having much fun.  
  
"We're dead, Jack. And I'm blaming you." Tabloid informed him as they all sat in a corner, away from all the others.  
  
"It's not my fault! You all agreed- oh, hey Swan."  
  
Swan smiled at all of them. 'What are you guys doing over here? Come join the fun." He pointed to where Pie Eater, Mayfly, Swinger, Shad and Risk had joined Smalltalk in her interpretive dance near the bowling aisle.  
  
"Snitch is homesick. We were just helping him feel better." Tabloid said, patting Snitch on the back. Snitch glared at them all.  
  
"Snitch, it's alright to be homesick. Just focus on how much fun you're having-" Snitch snorted as Swan continued. "Come on, Snitch. You'll forget about being homesick." And with that Swan grabbed Snitch by the wrist and led him over to the others.  
  
The boys looked at each other, and burst out laughing.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Alright, I'm the narrator." Pie Eater said as a large group walked down the hallway on the boys' floor. "And there' no ageing with me this time." He said, glaring at Swinger and Jackal.  
  
"SWAN!" Rainman yelled as he backed up out of the bathroom, spilling water out after him. "The bathroom's flooded!"  
  
All the boys' counselors- Swan, Solomon, Bill, Yeager, Dave, Jason, Omar and Paul- came running.  
  
Swan swore, "Omar, go call the custodial staff." Omar ran to obey.  
  
Jack, Tabloid, Spot, Skittery and Snitch exchanged looks, and slowly began to back up.  
  
Mush walked up behind Swan, and stopped. "Crap, what happened here? It's like Noah's ark! Er, 'cept without the ark."  
  
"Quiet, Mush!" Swan snapped. Omar retuned, and soon the custodial staff all came up, weaving through the chattering crowd that had formed quickly.  
  
Five minutes later, they came out carrying all the stuff the guys had flushed.  
  
"That's my necklace!" Raven cried, eyes wide. She gritted her teeth and turned to Jack, and every head followed hers.  
  
They boys stopped backing up, and turned red.  
  
"Er. Hi." Tabloid waved, smiling guiltily.  
  
Swan plowed through the crowd, his anger making him seem a lot taller than the 5 foot 10 he really was. The boys, all except for Spot , were nearly three inches taller than him at the least, but they still cowered away.  
  
"That. Is. It." Swan glared at each one of them in turn. "I'm taking you to see Judy.'  
  
"That's my grandmother's ring!" Smalltalk's voice rang out. Swan looked at her, then turned back to the boys. "You're in deep shit, kids."  
  
----------- Hahaha. They boys are in trouble.*winces* Eighteen pages. Oh, boy. Raven gave me the idea for the toilet thing, yay Ravy! God, I gotta fit FOUR days into the next chapter. And I'm determined to do it. *insert determined look here* No shout outs this chapter, next chapter maybe.  
  
Woo! *dances around* And you guys can still send in your characters! I need another team captain, a captain for HDA, Oratory, Radio, SOS, Verse and Dec, and still need some regular members. Send in as many characters as you want! Once I fill everything out, I'll give the people that sent in characters a sheet with all the stuff written out.  
  
Augh, I gotta go to work in half an hour Oh, well! All the nachos you can eat! *dances some more* And hot dogs. And soda. And popcorn. And a BUNCH of other stuff.  
  
OH! I watched Hook last night, and that guy who plays Rufio's hot. I thought that since I was four and it came out *grins* But I can't help but think how cute he's be with Swifty/Kevin Stea. Anyone agree?  
  
-Tabloid 


	5. Chapter Two: Bad News

Disclaimer: I do not own Newsies, NIU Theatre Camp, any of the counselors or any characters that are NOT mine.  
  
A/N: Sita and Raven pressure me to write. So I shall write. A/N 2: SO I lied- it's NOT 4 days in one chapter. Bear with me. I can't do that.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Jack, Skittery, Snitch, Tabloid, Snoddy and Spot stood in the center of Judy's room, hanging their heads shamefully as the short camp director paced in front of them like an angry Army general.  
  
"I'm trying to think of what in the hell inspired you six to pull a stunt like that." Judy growled, finally coming to a stop in front of Tabloid.  
  
"Don't ask me!" He exclaimed. "It was Jack's bright idea!"  
  
"Well, you were the one who got us to the girl's floor!"  
  
"Snitch was the one who took the things!" Spot put in.  
  
"Against my will!" Snitch said, defensively.  
  
"Shut UP!"  
  
The boys fell silent, and sheepishly turned back to Judy.  
  
"I believe, Mr. Kelly-" Jack swallowed, knowing he was in deep shit if Judy was calling him that. " I told you that if you pulled one more stunt, you'd be sent back home-"  
  
"You can't-"  
  
"I most certainly can, Mr. Kelly."  
  
"But my parents are in Hawaii."  
  
"Fuck." The boys giggled nervously as Judy swore. She thought for a moment, then shrugged. "Since it would not be fair for the rest of you to be sent home, and have Mr. Kelly stay here, you all will stay. But-"  
  
"Ah, shit" Tabloid muttered under his breath. 'I hate 'buts""  
  
"You will all have a counselor that will be your 'buddy' for the rest of the camp."  
  
"Judy-"  
  
"Shut UP, Mr. Conlon!"  
  
"Conlon, you're with Bill. Guarrani, you're with Omar- don't say a WORD, Mr. Guarrani. Kelly, you're with Yeager. Baxter, make friends with Solomon. You'll be seeing a lot of him. Riccio, you're with Matt. Mr. Yazbek-" The other guys snickered at Skittery's last name, but Judy ignored them. "You're paired with Paul. Kelly, you have the joy of spending the entire week with my lovely husband. Have fun, boys. Dismissed. You have some cleaning to do."  
  
Jack gaped at her. "Cleaning?"  
  
'Well, not exactly cleaning. More like scooping up water. Bye, kids." She said, ushering them out to where the male counselors awaited them.  
  
Omar grinned. "Hi, Friend."  
  
"Oh, crap." Tabloid moaned.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Pie Eater watched as the other boys filled buckets with toilet water, their pants rolled up to avoid getting wet.  
  
"None of the girls are talking to us." He said. The others turned to look at him. "They've declared war. And Broadway just called your mom and told her to buy a plot of land in the nearest cemetery, Jack."  
  
"She doesn't scare me." Jack grumbled, sweeping water into a garbage can.  
  
"She scares me." Snoddy put in.  
  
"That's cause you're a wussy-man."  
  
"Hey!"  
  
Jack turned back to Pie Eater. "We don't care that the girls are mad at us- "  
  
"I do."  
  
"Shut UP, Snitch!"  
  
At that moment, Skam walked in. They all saw the look on Jack's face, but couldn't stop him in time.  
  
"Oh, Skam." He said in a sing-song voice.  
  
"Can it, Kelly."  
  
Jack pouted, sticking out his lower lip. "What'd I say."  
  
"You didn't say it yet."  
  
"Then why-"  
  
"Because people can tell when you've come up with one of those plans of yours. And may I remind you of the results of your last plan?" He leaned out the door and waved. "Hi, Swan."  
  
The counselors sat in folding chairs lined up down the hall, sharing a bag of potato chips/ Swan waved a chip at Skam in greeting, then swallowed. "Hey."  
  
"Having fun?"  
  
Swan nodded. "Oh, yeah. Chip?"  
  
"No thanks. See you guys later." Skam turned back to the other guys.  
  
Jack shrugged. "It's just a minor setback."  
  
Skam shrugged. "Yeah, a setback that'll give them the upper hand in this war."  
  
At that comment Blink wandered in, looking glum. He passed all of the others and walked up to the mirror, then bared his teeth, causing the other boys to step back.  
  
"Blink! What-what happened?" Snoddy exclaimed, staring at Blink's teeth- which were an unnatural shade of lime green (complete with sparkles).  
  
"You look like one of those anti-drug ads, Blink." Tabloid sniggered.  
  
"Shut up." He moaned, scrubbing at his teeth with his toothbrush, which did nothing. "Ah, crap, it's not coming off!"  
  
"What HAPPENED, Blink?!" Snoddy repeated. Binck sighed, ran a hand through his hair and gloomily leaned against the sink.  
  
"I was walking down the hallway and all of the sudden Mayfly jumps out and TACKLES me-"  
  
"Tackles?"  
  
Blink nodded. "Like Brian Urlacher."  
  
"Does Brian Urlacher play defense?" Skam asked.  
  
Blink shrugged. "I dunno. Anyway, I wasn't expecting that, so before I know it, she's got me pinned down-"  
  
"Nice."  
  
"Shut UP, Tab! Anyway she's got me pinned down-"  
  
"I still don't see the bad."  
  
Blink spun to glare at Tabloid. "The bad IS she painted my teeth with GREEN NAILPOLISH!"  
  
The others burst out laughing.  
  
"It's not FUNNY! It's because of your STUPID prank and I wasn't even involved!" Blink glared at them all in turn, then went to leave- but before he got to the door, he paused, grabbed a bucket of toilet water from Snitch and dumped it over Jack's head.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Three hours later, the boys staggered wearily out of the bathroom.  
  
"There you boys are!" Solomon said cheerfully. "We were beginning to think you drowned."  
  
Tabloid glared. "I was this close-" he demonstrated with his fingers "to sticking my head in a bucket and doing just that."  
  
"What stopped you?" Paul asked.  
  
Tabloid shrugged. "It's toilet water. That's icky."  
  
"Icky?"  
  
"Shut UP, Skittery."  
  
The counselors lead the boys to their rooms. As Tabloid opened the door, Omar laughed. "What, no good-night kiss?" he joked.  
  
"Kiss this." Tabloid snapped, mooning Omar then slamming the door shut.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~ TUESDAY- Three Days Remaining  
  
"They're glaring at us." Pie Eater observed, wide-eyed as all the Neuqua girls-plus some from other schools- stared them down from across the cafeteria.  
  
"No shit." Jack muttered, moodily shoving some scrambled eggs into his mouth.  
  
Vintage stood up suddenly and walked across the large room to the guys were watching her warily. She walked up to Jack's tray , took the plate of his ketchup-covered eggs, and dumped it over his head.  
  
Jack leapt to his feet- or at least, he tried to, but found himself stuck firmly to the bench.  
  
"Super glue." Vintage supplied, seeing the confused look on his face.  
  
"You didn't."  
  
She shrugged. "You're right. I didn't." She pointed to where Jackal was waving. "She did."  
  
Vintage laughed as the other guys began to squirm, also stuck to the bench. "Well, I'll leave you guys to get out of this mess yourselves- I have to go to practice. You have-" she checked her watch- "Fifteen minutes. See you then."  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"You're here." Amadae "Halo" Healy- Neuqua's HDA captain- commented as Jack, Tabloid, Pie Eater and several others who had been bonded with their bench walked up.  
  
"Yeah." Skittery mumbled. "But our pants are still in the cafeteria."  
  
Halo bit back a laugh as she picked at the blue polish on her nails. "So you ran to your rooms. Without pants?"  
  
Tabloid shrugged. "I've done worse without pants."  
  
Everyone ignored that comment.  
  
"The cheerleaders laughed. A lot. They must die." Skittery muttered, flopping down on one of the couches.  
  
"Not as much as the counselors laughed." Snitch corrected, pointing at where their supervisors were talking to Judy.  
  
"Uh-huh. Well, I have to go get my super glue back from Jackal. See you later boys." And she walked off, leaving the others staring after her.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Snitch entered the elevator, and nodded to some dancers who were leaving it and laughing like mad.  
  
Lute snickered as she walked out, too. "Aww, is Snitchy being nice to the cheerleaders?"  
  
One of the girls turned around, pissed. "We're DANCERS."  
  
Lute arched an eyebrow, then made a face ad they walked away. She blinked as she looked at Snitch once more. "You're not wearing any pants."  
  
"I know." Snitch sighed, and got onto the elevator.  
  
"You're wearing boxers with hearts on them."  
  
"I KNOW."  
  
"Where are your pants?"  
  
"Glued to the bench in the cafeteria."  
  
Lute burst out laughing.  
  
"It's NOT funny."  
  
Lute's laughter refuted that statement.  
  
Snitch glared at her for a minute, then began to laugh, too.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Broadway stormed into the lobby. "Neuqua! Come here!"  
  
A couple people looked up.  
  
"Now!"  
  
That got them moving. They practically scampered over to where Broadway stood- girls on one side, boys on the other.  
  
She rolled her eyes when she saw this, and quickly looked over the group.  
  
"Where's Lute and Snitch?"  
  
'Gracie' Cardone giggled. "I saw them making out in the elevator."  
  
Raven's face grew dark. "Traitor." She muttered.  
  
Gracie giggled again. 'And Snitch didn't have any pants on."  
  
The whole group snickered- the girls involved in the prank laughed especially hard. Broadway clapped her hands. "Alright, alright, everyone pay attention."  
  
The group continued to laugh until Jack stepped in, yelling at them to shut up.  
  
Once the group fell silent, Broadway glowered at Jack. "I still hate you."  
  
Jack shrugged, an 'I could care less' look on his face.  
  
"Alright, guys.' Broadway continued, now that she had everyone's attention (Lute and Snitch managed to sneak in the back- Snitch adorned with new pants.)  
  
"I just got a phone call from Shy-"  
  
Kate King laughed loudly. "Broadway, you're the only person I know that gives her cell phone number out to teachers."  
  
"Shaddup, King. Amway, apparently Neuqua's having a last-minute camp."  
  
Groans came from her audience, and she glowered at them once more.  
  
"And it cost's $150-"  
  
Groans turned to protests.  
  
"One hundred and fifty dollars? How am I supposed to come up with $150 dollars?" Smalltalk complained.  
  
Swerve glared at everything. "I promised my parents that it was only that $475 dollars. They're going to kill me."  
  
"$150 dollars? What the hell do they need $150 for?" Racetrack yelled. Tabloid and Mob agreed with him.  
  
"Calm down! Calm down!"  
  
Still, nothing. Broadway began to get very angry.  
  
"Alight, you whiny little children! Shut your traps and LISTEN to me, goddamit!" The team exchanged looks, and meekly obeyed.  
  
"Also-" Broadway stopped and sighed. "Also one of our coaches got fired." Tabloid swore loudly, and ignored the threats coming from Dipal.  
  
"What?!" Blue Boy, Halo's brother, yelled out in shock. "Who?"  
  
"I don't know." Broadway sighed.  
  
"You don't know?! Why the hell not?" Bandit Charleston shouted, his dark green eyes furious.  
  
"Because Shy didn't tell me!" Broadway yelled back.  
  
Veggie Bievenue, a skinny girl with glasses, spoke up. "Why didn't he tell you, Broadway."  
  
"Because he's being evil!" Smalltalk cried out.  
  
"Shut, UP, Smalltalk!" Smalltalk crossed her arms and glared as Broadway continued. "We're not gonna find anything out until August 11, okay? So be happy."  
  
"Fuck that."  
  
"Shut UP, Smalltalk."  
  
"You shut up!" Broadway shot back in a clever offensive move. "Dismissed! All of you!"  
  
The group disbanded, muttering to themselves.  
  
----- Ack. *cannot write any more of this chapter* *dies*  
  
Hot.heat.bad.  
  
Shout outs for chapter four (Only two? Come on, people! You have to do better than that!):  
  
Demon: I gave up. *is sad* Oh well. It was a farfetched plan. *nods* Glad you like it.  
  
Jackal: Well, You're not gonna be able to read this now that your stupid parents banned you from the internet forever so I don't even know WHY I'm writing this. *falls asleep on the keyboard* 


End file.
